The confessions of a crestfallen heart.  

Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.

Love. An emotion so unpredictable. Something that can both make and break one’s spirit. The drug that kicks our dopamine levels sky-high causing us to act and behave unlike us. Love is the winner in every relationship we indulge ourselves in, even when it fails miserably. Heartbreaks need not happen just between couples who cannot work on their relationship, but also with family and friends. As I write today, I reminiscence some events which explain the context quite aptly.

Rejections in life are handed to you in the most inconvenient of times. When those rejections come as love failures,  the insides of your body cringes in the worst ways possible. I need not explain in detail why a relationship fails. It is always either a person’s ego, disloyalty, or attitude that catapults it to the path of destruction. Some are more than happy to move on with their lives like nothing ever happened. But people, seriously, have some empathy. There are a few others who may be emotionally dysfunctional and broken to not be normal during such life-altering, mammoth outbreaks. It is just the nature of love. It takes two to make it, but just one to break it.

Life took me on a roller coaster ride when it came to love. There were moments of extreme adrenaline rush, surging dopamine levels, and unrealistic hormonal secretion. How do I know this? Well, I was and still am a victim of true love. But it was not always a smooth ride. All the crappy high school crushes to “serious”, less-than-a-semester-long college relationships, by the end of it had seemed like a journey through inferno. From friends coming and consoling me to having crazy drinking sessions, sobbing over lost love, I have had it all. The best part though; even after it breaks your heart over and over again, you just end up asking for more. There is still no known drug to stop you from falling in love.

I have come across my friends being in such absurd relationships that sometimes, even though being an outsider, I pity them. Being in a long distance relationship was a taboo in college. Impossible, had a 99.9% failure rate, and almost next to a herculean feat(not an official fact, but just common conception). When you have flowers all around you, why smell the one that is across the field? Well, that is what love does to one’s soul. There are few who gets on the horse for just the physical aspects. A quick shout out to them, quit before you fall into the abyss of love. There are some who are so genuine, and loyal that their partners find them to be obsessed, and paranoid. To them I say, stay paranoid and possessive, because your partner does not know that no one else will love them like you do. For the rest of them, all I can say is your special one is waiting for your destinies to intertwine. It is inevitable.

People fall out of love in a matter of seconds, or years. It all depends on how long the spark stays alight inside both of them. Once it dies, your love life is in jeopardy. Some are unlucky when their partners resort to finding solace in the arms of another. It is the worst way to screw it up. It affects both individuals in the most diverse ways. While one loses trust in love, the other takes the guilt of cheating with them till their grave. We may not be perfect, but we are humans after all. Do not stop yourself from falling in love. It is the most natural, and ethereal feeling of them all. Feel it surge into your hearts. Once you do fall for it, give it your all. Honesty goes a long way, even when you have screwed it up to the extent of no repair. If you have lost someone special, move on, love again. It will happen only if you open up your heart to this beautiful world.

I dedicate this to all friends of mine, who have lost, gained, and are still in search of their soul mates.

Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt! May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agised as in that hour left my lips: for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love.


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